ONCE AGAIN I'M COMPLAINING

*SIGH*
another night, late at night, facing my laptop,
with microsoft word running, but empty,
empty, plain white shit sheet, with no words at all, no word,
empty, i guess it wasn't only the sheet is empty,
but i am empty, empty, my brain is empty,
my stomach slightly empty, my feeling is empty,
my heart is empty, i just feel so empty.
i am suppose to finish up my journal,
which is still at the start, haven't move a bit,
not a bit, i tried to write, but it doesn't feel like it,
if only i got a good idea, if only i am not this empty,
maybe i could write something, or i could just write this emptiness,
but how will i write the emptiness when it is empty,
if only i have more passion in study, in doing jobs,
in something that i should be doing,
but no, i am wasting my time doing something that is less important,
open your eyes dude and see the priority of the jobs you have,
but why would i care, its been like this ever since,
i need to change, i called myself lazy,
but the fact is i am a sloth,
worst than lazy, need to change, need a boost to change,
i can't easily motivate myself to change, but i have too,
god give me some strength please.

RINTIHAN TAK BERMAKNA

aku sebenarnya ade banyak benda nak post kat blog nie.
tapi aku nie pemalas sangat. pemalas tahap gaban.
terok an. aduyai. so sekarang aku di sini merintih seorang diri sedang menaip gebangan aku ini.
sebenarnya aku buat blog nie sebab tertarik bila ade orang buat blog.
aku suka sangat baca blog org. jadi aku terasa cam nak buat blog sendrik.
tapi blog aku tiada org pon nak bace.(mintak simpati gler.-.-)
so aku jadi tak motivated nak buat blog sendirik. adeh.
tapi bila aku tengok roomate aku buat blog, kwn aku buat blog, my beloved one buat blog
ish jelesnye... tp aku terima jelah hakikat.

tapi, pada malam ini aku kebosanan sebenarnye. dan sedang mendengar lagu yang cukup sentimental bagi aku. Jangan Kau Lepas dari Alexa. lagu tu menimbulkan seribu satu memori dalam ingatan ku. memori yang sungguh indah pada suatu ketika dahulu. dan sekarang hanya menjadi memori sahaja. bila aku kenang balik, mesti aku cakap, oh bodohnye kau fathi. tapi yelakan, semua org nak putar balik masa, tp semua org tahu, takde sorg pon boleh. tapi tiada tak ramai org nak pandang dpan into the FUTURE.

so, why should we ALWAYS look back, when our head are ALWAYS facing the front?

Gonna Miss Them

it's been 4 days I left UTP...
and missing them already...
missing hearing them laugh. making stupid jokes. jumping around. running around. shouting at me. making nonsense. they really do looks like kids. but the facts is they're 18. some of them even 19. o.0 well. but i still like them. they color up my day. everyday that i have. gonna miss them damn much.
gonna miss firdaus and his fishing rod.
gonna miss acam and his fashion.
gonna miss hadrie and his terengganu slang.
gonna miss naim and his 'katang'ness.
gonna miss aiman and his excitedness.
gonna miss din and his jokes about the royalty. =.="
gonna miss nas and his butt?...
gonna miss afiq and his 'joget'
gonna miss amir and his bike.
gonna miss hadi and his silence.
gonna miss hafiz and his expressionless.
gonna miss ike and his shoulder.
gonna miss fizik and his guitar.
gonna miss achik, kechik, giro, and diyak for DOTA! =P
gonna miss adib and his guitar.

and on top of that I gonna miss my ex schoolmate there.
azim.haziq.farid
we spent most of the time together.
we've been doing most of the things together.
gonna miss all that. gonna miss you guys.

Who is friends and what is meaning of friends

A lot of people go through life with only a few friends. It seems that some have less than that. They have no one on whom they can call in good times or bad. There is no one with whom to bounce ideas around, or to talk about deep and troubling subjects. They have no one to call in times of need or difficulty. They are at the mercy of life, standing alone.

Others seem to have a multiple number of friends like google's PageRank which increases in cumulative. Wherever they go, people know them, and like to be around them. when a trouble strike, their biggest hesitation might be over which friend to call. They know exactly the person with whom to discuss the topics of inquiry and debate. Life is full of entertaining and invigorating relationships because it is full of friends. These friends will be like a Degree course in friendship.. When we study them we get lot of knowledge about friendship. They have a lot of ideas flowing and they discuss any topic which is hard to discuss.

Of course, some people are perfectly happy to operate with fewer friends. They might rather have a few deep and loyal friends, than many superficial ones. Others thrive best when friends are everywhere and numerous. It is not so much the number of friends that is important as is the possession of friends, period. Loyal and deep friendship is good. It doesn't care about the numbers, Even if you have one loyal trustable friend. it is better than to have hundreds of untrustable, superficial friends. With the trusted friends we can discuss our problem areas and get ideas for solving them also. These friends share their time with us to solve problems. But when you have lots of friends who are not loyal or trustable it is the case of the person who is not having any friends. Even after having hundreds of friends our mind can't able to find real, trustable friends.

A friend is someone we turn to
When our spirits need a lift,
A friend is someone we treasure
For our friendship is a gift,
A friend is someone who fills our lives
With beauty, joy, and grace
And makes the world we live in
A better and happier place.

OF LOVE AND FORGIVENESS

How can these two words, love and forgiveness change your whole perspective on life? First, you must put your trust in something bigger than yourself. You may call it God, Spirit, Budda, whatever your faith is, trust that it has a bigger plan (could it be a lesson in forgiveness?) than your everyday troubles. What is the most important lesson you can learn while here on earth? Love and Forgiveness. But how do you get to the Love part if you have hatred in your heart? Forgive. It sounds so simple and yet it can be the most difficult thing that you can do in this lifetime.



You were wronged or someone betrayed you, how can you let that go? Forgive. Forgive and it will set your heart free. Here are some steps that can get you there. Feel your anger, feel your sadness, feel whatever it is you need to get all those emotions out, write it down and then throw it away. Give yourself a certain timeframe in which you will no longer continue to go on with those emotions. Now comes the hard part, trying to convince yourself that the other person deserves to be forgiven. Every time this hurt comes into your heart, say to yourself "I forgive "name" for what they have done". Every time you start to go over the scenario, and start to get angry or sad, instead replace it with "I forgive "name" for what they have done". You might not believe what you are saying at first. But sending that message out into the universe will eventually help break the chain of black energy that links you together with an invisible line of hate.

Hopefully it will hit you one day. You can let it go, the hate, the anger, the betrayal, how you were wronged and in a peaceful loving moment truly feel that forgiveness. The best possible way to break the chain of hate that connects you by an invisible link, is to stand and face this person and truly believing and feeling in your heart what you are about to say to them. "No matter what you have done to me, I forgive you" It is truly disarming, and can break that link that binds you. That's it! It may be a long and hard task to get to that one simple line.

What does it feel like? Once you have set each other free, your heart feels lighter, you have an overwhelming feeling of peace. You suddenly understand it all, the reason you are here, the lessons that you need to learn while on this earth plane. You will never be the same, because in every situation you can begin to feel compassion, humility and gratitude toward your fellow travelers here on earth. You can LOVE again. You are a radiant being moving forward in life.

Whether you admit it or not, music imbeds our daily life, weaving its beauty and emotion through our thoughts, activities and memories. So if you're interested in music theory, music appreciation, Beethoven, Mozart, or other composers, artists and performers, we hope you'll spend some time with here and learn from these music articles of note for all ages and tastes.




When I first started studying the history of music, I did not realize what I was getting into. I had thought that music history was somewhat of a trivial pursuit. In fact, I only took my history of classical music class because I needed the credits. I did not realize how completely fascinating music history is. You see, in our culture many of us do not really learn to understand music. For much of the world, music is a language, but for us it is something that we consumed passively. When I began to learn about the history of Western music, however, it changed all that for me. I have had some experience playing musical instruments, but I have never mastered one enough to really understand what music is all about. This class showed me.

When most of us think about the history of music, we think of the history of rock music. We assume that the history is simple because the music is simple. In fact, neither is the case. The history of music, whether you're talking about classical music, rock music, jazz music, or any other kind, is always complicated. New chord structures are introduced bringing with them new ways of understanding the world. New rhythmic patterns are introduced, bringing with them new ways of understanding time. And music reflects all of it.

Even when the class was over, I could not stop learning about the history of music. It had whetted my appetite, and I wanted more. I got all the music history books that I could find. I even began to research forms of music that had not interested me before in the hopes of enhancing my musical knowledge further. Although I was in school studying toward something very different – a degree in engineering – I had thought about giving it up and going back to get a degree in musicology. That is how much I am fascinated by the subject.

If you have never taken a course in the history of music, you don't know what you are missing out on. The radio will never sound the same to you again. Everything will seem much more rich, much more luminous, and much more important. A new song can reflect a new way of being, and a new way of imagining life in the world. This is what learning about the history of music means to many of us.

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